The Sparkle of Life

Emotions. "The sparkle of life." In this season, so much is going on, that I fear I am numb to the sparkle. Numb to feeling anything. Because if I were to feel anything, I would feel too much. I have no idea if that makes any sense... I was discussing this with friends the other day, and we talked about how quickly life is going on around us, and we don't have time to catch up or really realize the immense changes. 

As a girl... I want to cry, and giggle, and know that I know I'm doing the right thing. 

I want to feel the crisp air of autumn, and dance in the pouring rain. 

So I ask myself, when will I feel again? 

Maybe I'll begin to feel, when my family and friends are thousands of miles away. When I'm left to navigate through the next year having no one I know constantly encouraging me or keeping me accountable. I'm excited that it's just me and Jesus. I know that my reliance on Him will become so much greater. Because He is all I'll have. I'm not saying that I'm going to completely ignore everyone back in the States, it's just that in Australia, I'm going to have to grow up really fast. That is exciting. And scary too. What am I made of? What are my passions? How do I think of myself? It will no longer just be Lindsey Schaub, pastors kid, singer and ice cream scooper. The people I meet will know NOTHING about me. I can be whoever I want to be. And I just want to be me. But I'm still finding out who "me" is... 

And won't I always? 

So as I reflect on my life, take a moment to reflect on yours. Who did God create you to be. Y.O.U. Only you. What is it that makes you tick, that makes you get unimaginably excited? 

"The Greeks did not write obituaries. They simply asked one question... Were they passionate?"

So here's to being passionate. Even when I can't seem to feel. Sometimes you have to make a choice and then later your heart will catch on.