I thought about not even posting, because there is so muuuch to say. But so much I don't even know how to express. But here goes...
The countdown is now at 11. Eleven days until I say my final farewells and hop on the plane to Australia.
I am constantly reminded of all of the amazing blessings that have led up to this point... my family has had wonderful time together (including the game Settlers!), my friends have surprised me in more ways than one, and my church family has shown incredible love and support. I'm so thankful.
I don't intend to, but I find myself growing increasingly distant from people. At home I try to hide in my room, writing songs that can somehow convey what I'm feeling. At work I feel tired, and I am constantly writing TO DO lists in order not to forget anything. When I'm with friends I try to stay involved, when really I'm having constant dialogue in my mind. When asked if I'm excited, I almost don't know how to answer. Yes, I am excited. But it still does not feel real.
I've been dreaming, praying and hoping for this for 8 months and now that it's finally here, there's a sense of melancholy about it all. So many feelings, so many emotions...So much to say, and so much to process. So many things I can't figure out until I'm there. Which also makes me a little nervous! It will be culture shock to the max!
So please forgive me if I have acted distant, unattentive or stressed. I do wish to have meaningful time with everyone before leaving.
Farewell for today. May you be reminded of God's goodness, thankful for His promises, and attentive to His Spirit.
You have expressed yourself well dear. How you are feeling is just how you should be feeling. Distancing yourself is a natural transition to leaving, protecting yourself from an abrupt break. You will find that these types of transitions never change as long as you live, the only thing that changes is our capability to handle them better. Be encouraged that for now all you need do is what you have already been doing! With that smart brain in your head, the knowledge of your support system behind you, and your faithful God, you are ready for all that lies ahead of you. All of the meaningful relationships you leave here do not have to be high maintenance, we support you and understand where your focus must be for this season. Give yourself permission to move forward! We do! You have permission! Love you Sweety! :D You are going to do great!
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