Returning Home With More Than a Suitcase

I'm consolidating my suitcase (for the 5th time) and it's beginning to hit me... only two more days left in Australia.

I had a lovely (freezing) day at the beach, watched movies with some of my favorite people, and am now wide awake at 1:45am trying to figure out how to put my life for the past year into two 50 lbs. bags... or as Aussies would say... 23 kilos.

Although very excited and expectant to return home, right now I'm feeling the sadness of leaving my life here. Of departing from the people I've grown to love. Of leaving this home.

Okay Lindsey, you can do it! Enjoy your last days. Tomorrow, (technically today. Remind me again why am I awake?!) clean your little heart out... Thursday spend a wonderful final day with your housemates and finish packing... And Friday, well Friday... board a plane and begin a new chapter. Sometimes it's so difficult to turn a new page when the one before it is still gripping your heart...

Obviously being metaphorical and mushy isn't going to help. My bad :)

So basically, I'm rambling. Yup, I think I'm done for today. I've got a to-do list to conquer!

This quite possibly could be my final post from 'Down Under.'
If so, it is with much gratitude that I write this. My heart only hearts because it's been so wonderful.
The best and worst year of my life... making it the BEST year of my life! (Disclaimer: by worst I mean challenging. Challenge=change. Change=good!)
So much growth, so many incredible opportunities and so many wonderful experiences and people I've met along the way.

With a tear in my eye and a smile on my face, I bid you adieu.

For the joys of tomorrows...
Lindsey Noelle

P.S. There is no way that my suitcase could contain everything I've accumulated over this year...
All of the laughs. All of the letters written along the way! All of the early mornings and late nights. All of the Oreos and peanut butter eaten for breakfast... (don't worry Mum, I only did that once!) All of the instant sunburns. (Even when I was wearing SPF 30+) All of the broken mugs. (Random, right?) All of the books I must leave behind. (For someone who would like to someday have a library, that's like putting TacoBell sauce in an open wound...) All of the incredible teachings and sermons I've had the privilege of hearing. All of the amazing, wonderful, incredible, awesome people I've met. (They can't all come to America at once...)
So, I'll just have to accept...  I'm returning home with more than a suitcase. :)

I'm Letting Go

I didn't come this far to give up!
I'm declaring that the last 2 weeks will be the most amazing conclusion to this season.
For the past eleven months I have seen God do miracles in my life and in the lives around me.
I came to Hillsong International Leadership College as a girl who loves Jesus, and I'm leaving as a woman who is passionate about seeing His Kingdom established around the world.
I am better equipped, more focused and extremely expectant for the seasons to come.
Even when circumstances are giving me every reason to back down, I will not!
My God is my my protector, provider, comforter, counselor, and best friend.
He is the beginning and the end, and so present in the in-between.
I've been changed. Changed so deeply that I myself cannot comprehend.

I feel so overwhelmed with a hunger for truth. For complacency to be shaken off, thrown away, and never chosen again. For believers to rise up and live according to the Word. For justice to become reality in every corner of this planet. For love to be spread unassumingly and selflessly across the globe. For families to be restored to their ultimate design. For churches to worry less about the method and more about the Message. For peace to reign in our hearts. For grace to capture us once again. For wisdom, compassion, and humility. For Jesus to be the center of it all.

So I'm letting go... 

"I’m Letting Go" -Francesca Battistelli 

My heart beats, standing on the edge
But my feet have finally left the ledge

Like an acrobat
There’s no turning back

I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

This is a giant leap of faith
Trusting and trying to embrace

The fear of the unknown
Beyond my comfort zone

Giving in to your gravity
Knowing You are holding me
I’m not afraid

Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
Feels like I’m falling and this is the life for me

Love you all very much. Thank you for being a part of my life. I can't imagine it without you.
For those of you who I will see in 2 short weeks, I am so excited!
For those of you I will bid farewell, you'll always be my Australia family.

Most importantly, thank you Jesus. I can't do anything without you. I am so in love with you.

#DwindlingDays

I keep doing this… I keep going far too long in my blogging venture that by the time I settle into my couch to start writing, I spend the first half an hour staring endlessly at the blinking cursor.

So my dear friends and family, please pardon the random assortment of sentences that are about to be strewn upon this page.

Oh, heads-up, I watched “Becoming Jane” the other day and I’ve been in a poetic state since. So if I sound old-fashioned, it’s simply me trying to be like Jane Austen herself.

I’m swept up in a busy Spring with work, new classes, serving at church events and attempting to make the most of my time here!
After a cold winter (who would’ve thought in Australia!) the sun is back! The flowers are in bloom, the birds are out, (and the bugs. EWW) and the scent in the air is similar to what it was when I first arrived.

2^nd semester classes (New Testament, Christian Doctrine, Personal Evangelism, Spirit-filled Living, and Songwriting) are absolutely blowing my mind!

For one of my assessments in songwriting I was paired with a guy named Damon. The goal was to write a praise or worship song, record it, make a chord chart, blah blah blah and send it in. Then out of the 13 groups in our class our trainers chose 3 songs that would be work-shopped and used for our final performance. Mine and Damon’s was one of the three that were chosen! So now our class has been split into groups and we are doing some rewriting and then we will share it for our final performance. Exciting, and a little scary, but it’s an honor!
For my next songwriting assessment I was given an artist that I have to imitate their style. Guess who I got? (I’m wincing as I write this…) Lady Gaga. Me, of all people, is required to write a Lady Gaga song. I don’t even know where to begin! My guess is I will *attempt* to lay a sick beat and layer meaningless lyrics (repeated tirelessly) over the top. We’ll see how that goes... My thoughts for how to get inspiration? I could ‘just dance,’ play poker, or get in a ‘bad romance?’ Nah, that won’t do… I’ll just ask ‘Alejandro’ for help. Teasing, I’m only teasing. For those over 25- those are song references. Don’t worry; I haven’t fallen off the deep end. :) 

Anyways… Life is good. Life is so good.
God is continually working in my heart, and I’m learning so much. Just when I think I’ve got it figured out (it must be a teenage thing) He gently reminds me that I’m not all that and a bag of potato chips. Oh pardon me, here in Australia, they are called crisps… my bad. :)

As my time here dwindles, I’m in a constant state of reflection. Sometimes I forget who the girl was who got on that plane 9 months ago. I’ve changed so drastically, and yet, I’m still me. A very hard concept to comprehend.
I think I will realize how different I am when I return home. How much of the Aussie slang will I retain? What will I miss the most? (Colorful money is on the list!) Will I ever see these friends again? Will anyone in America truly understand everything I experienced? So many questions that will remain unanswered until I’m able to walk through it.
Yet, despite all of those things, I am also enraptured at the thought of coming home. On December 2^nd, Blake, Joslyn and I will fly to LAX together. We will depart from this yearlong Australian adventure and return to American soil. The months of depending on skype for communication will be over, as I will be reunited with those that I love. It will be a bittersweet departure to say the least.

And that’s my cue to stop writing about it, for it makes me melancholy just thinking about it!

ANYWAYS- Thank you dear ones for all of your love and support. I could not have done this without you. Thank you for making it so difficult to be away. “I’m so blessed to have something that makes it so hard to say goodbye.” But then, we never said goodbye… we said, ‘see you later.’ And that ‘see you later’ will shortly be fulfilled.

All my love,
      The silly girl singing, “it’s the final countdown…”      

P.S. I don't think it's necessarily protocol to put postscript in a blog post, but whatever. 

Anyways, once again, miss you! 

P.S.S.  Brother Jon, I'm glad you're okay. You literally and figuratively 'took one for the team.' And hey, the football moms are probably making you heaps of cookies. I was about ready to jump on a plane two months early to get to you. 

6 MONTHS!

Six Months

To express in a few short sentences the impact of these past six months is impossible. To describe the change that has occurred would short-change it if I tried. To address each person that has become and remain a part of my life would take days. So in only a few words, I will try to recap these past few months….

Since moving from Salem, Oregon on January 9^th, 2011 to Sydney, Australia, my life has changed. At times it seems like the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced, but at the end of the day I know it’s all worth it. My family, friends, church, Walmart and even Taco Bell remain in Salem and although Australia is not host to any of those things, I transition… my family and friends become people from all over the world- Germany, Korea, Canada, India, England, Belgium, Africa, Mexico, etc. My grocery store becomes Coles, Hershey’s is traded for Cadbury, and the lack of insulation in the walls makes me recall the autumn days in Oregon.

Along the way I’ve had many lonely days, many times when I worried about finances, many early mornings, many awkward moments, and many times where I was ready to board the plane home, but in each of these times it’s deepened my capacity to trust that this is all on purpose!

But also along the way, I’ve met amazing people, served in an amazing church, giggled late into the night, created friendships and memories, grown and learned things that will last a lifetime!

I wouldn’t trade it for the world…

And in great excitement and expectancy, I look forward to the months to come. I know that as I continue to settle, I will continue to bloom. And even when I don’t feel like I have a place, I know I belong.

So where is home? Home will be wherever I am in whatever the season.

To everyone who has been with me since the beginning, during, and continuing with me on this journey—THANK YOU. In those two simple words I hope you know how grateful I am and forever will be for you.

Most importantly, thank you Jesus. Thank you for taking a nineteen-year-old girl across the world and opening her eyes. Thank you for the miracles along the way… financial provision, peace, grace, comfort and so much more. I couldn’t and never want to live a day without you.

So undoubtingly I can say, this is the best year of my life.

The girl across the globe,
Lindsey

P.S. Not that I’m counting the days or anything (147), but… I’ll be home for Christmas, you can count on me!

P.S.S. It took me three days to write this because I couldn’t decide what to share! 6 months is a lot of life to reflect on... :)

Now Is Not The Time To Listen To Sad Country Songs

Now Is Not The Time To Listen To Sad Country Songs

Can you believe it's June already?! Time is rushing by! If I'm not careful I could blink and this whole year will be gone. Phew, can't let that happen.

What else is new?! Umm, well pretty much everything.
It's new to me too. I’ve heard it said, “If you’re open to change, you’re gonna be changed…” And boy-oh-boy can I attest to that! 

Here are some of the newest updates/random facts:

* I got a job! Thank you for your fervent prayers. I'm working at a Subway a thirty-minute bus ride from my house. I really enjoy it once there, but the timing of buses is quite the hassle. Sometimes I leave 2 hours early just to get there. But that's okay. I'm so grateful!

*I've covered my walls in random memorabilia which has helped make this house feel like home. Oh and side note- I killed a huge spider the other day. Like, I’m talking HUGE. I’m pretty proud!

*There is a cat that has adopted our house. Being the girls and animal lovers we are, we feed it. I guess he’s been named by the neighbors “Pedro.” I don’t know why. If only we could bring it inside…

*The 25^th Hillsong Conference is coming up so we have some long/exciting weeks ahead. I don’t know where I’m allocated yet, but it will be an incredible time! 20,000+ people worshipping Jesus!

*The questions are still looming and circulating… “What’s your plan for next year?!” Don’t worry, I’m not making a big announcement yet. Because quite frankly, I have no idea. I’m in the process of researching and praying about different options, but at this point, it’s too soon to decide.

*To the graduating class of 2011, congratulations you guys! You have the world at your feet... explore it! It was a little melancholy because graduation fell on the same day that marks the 5-month anniversary of me being here. I missed you especially Natalie and Jor, wish I could’ve been there.

* I’ve realized I love the sound of laundry in the dryer. It’s almost done and ready to be folded and put on your shelves, crisp and clean and ready to be worn. I don’t know… it’s the simple things, ya know?

Sometimes the adventure doesn’t seem very exciting, but then really it’s just my perspective that’s skewed. 
Sometimes I crave the “norm” I so want to escape from.
Sometimes I can't explain to my heart what's going on in my head. Or visa versa.
Sometimes I miss you all so bad it hurts.
But most of the time, I smile knowing I have a God that loves me, family that supports me, friends that care for me, and a bright future ahead of me. Life is good. No matter where you are at.
 

Sincerely,
         The girl who is delighted that in 7 months I will be in your arms again. 

P.S. I’m thinking and praying for you all the time! 

Random Ramblings on a Rainy Day

Well friends and family, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?! I do apologize. In my free time I often find myself discovering pictures of old-fashion tea parties and libraries or researching silly things such as personality types, cockroaches ability to withstand nuclear radiation or the definitions of words. You may think I’m kidding, but I am completely serious! I’m such a nerd. haha

Anyways…these past few weeks have been exquisite.  The leaves have begun to change colors and fall from the trees, and the air is often very pleasant. Good Friday was spent with my housemates indulging in amazing food. It was nice to feel like a family a little bit. Easter was amazing, although I was terribly sad to think of all that I was missing back home. In Australia, they don’t dye eggs or buy new dresses. Weird, huh? This week we’ve been on holiday. (That’s what they call vacations!) For the most part I’ve hung out around the house; resting, coloring and writing. There have been a few parties here and there, but because of the rain, most of the time we stay huddled inside. I’m anxious to get back into the swing of things!

Yesterday I received a package from Natalie. It was the biggest surprise! I’m currently wrapped up in my new butterfly blankie... I love it! Thanks friend! I’m so thankful for technology too. Although skype often disconnects, it’s wonderful to see and hear a person for a while! ;)

Whenever I write, I feel as though there is so much going on that I wouldn’t even know how to describe. I wish you all could walk the streets I do.

Soon I will have to make some pretty big decisions, and in the mean time I’m waiting patiently (well, I’m trying!) for God to reveal to me what He wants me to do. I’m young, free, and have the world in front of me. Often times I like to plan (in intense detail) the rest of my life, but often planning too much of something takes the adventure out of it. Right?! Right. (That’s me convincing myself…)

May 9 ^th will be 4 months since I’ve seen your wonderful faces. Time has gone sooo quickly. And… I’m pretty sure that if I love you this much from a distance, I’ll love you even more when I’m with you!
All that to say, I love and miss you. I appreciate you and feel completely blessed to have friends and family like you.

There’s my random ramblings…

Peace out. 

In The Waiting Room

Hello friends and family! It's with great joy that I write to you this evening. I'm sitting on my bed peering out the window at the vast sky bright with stars. It's nights like tonight that I love being in Australia. The clouds fill the sky in the day, and at night they disappear to reveal an endless array of beauty. 

So much of my heart changes each and every day, but it's good change... It's like working out... it's painful, but totally worth it in the end! On that note, my friend Joslyn and I went jogging today and then did some ab workouts and when I was failing to do the exercise correctly she said, "it's to strengthen your core!" To that I replied, "I don't have a core to strengthen! But I'll get there." In the midst of a silly moment it hit me... I may not necessarily have a strengthened core physically, but God is defining and strengthening the core of who I am in Him. I like to take weird experiences and see them as metaphors to what God's doing. I hope you don't mind! :)

Last week I discovered my favorite place in Australia so far! About a half mile from my house there is a pathway through some fields. From the top of the hill you can see all surrounding areas. At dusk the sun paints the sky with such breathtaking colors, and the lining of the clouds shine with the intense light. Even in the rain it's a beautiful place. It's the place where I have complete freedom... I dance through the fields, lay on the grass or make my way through the trees. I can say or sing whatever I want with no cares in the world. My precious little hill. Adorned with an old barn in the distance, the view of a water tower to the right, houses straight ahead, and business buildings in all directions it's a little oasis in the familiarity of the the 3 mile radius I'm in. 

One of the things I ponder the most when I'm in my 'secret garden' is the word "wait." It's a simple term; known by most, but only truly fulfilled by few. 

Last week while processing many different seasons and reasons for things, I was reading 1 Corinthians 13 and saw verse 4 in a whole new light. "Love is patient..." Patient is the very first adjective when used to describe what love is. The definition of patient is: able to wait without becoming annoyed or anxious; slow to lose one's temper with irritating people or situations; the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset

The keyword I saw in this definition was "wait," which means: to stay where one is or delay action until a particular time or until something else happens; remain in readiness for some purpose. 

Umm, hello! Isn't that wonderful?! So maybe you're waiting for a new job, waiting for a spouse, waiting for direction for the future, waiting for a baby,etc. Whatever it is... don't lose heart! 

A few weeks ago one of the Pastors, Joel A'Bell, read this poem at the end of his message... I know the tendency when a poem or verse is posted is to scan over it, but I really think that if you read this with an open heart, it will speak to you just as much as it's spoken to me. 

"WAIT"

Written By: Unknown

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried:

Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied;

I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,

And the Master so gently said, "child, you must wait". 

"Wait? You say, wait!" my indignant reply. 

"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!

Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?

By faith, I have asked, and am claiming your word. 

My future and all to which I relate

hangs in the balance, & you tell me to WAIT?

I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,

Or even a 'no' to which I can resign. 

And Lord, you promised that if we believe

we need but to ask, and we shall receive. 

So Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:

I'm weary of asking! I need a reply!

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate

As my Master replied once again, "you must wait". 

So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut

and grumbled to God, "so, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed, then, to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine,

And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign. 

I could shake the Heavens, and darken the sun.

I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run.

All you seek I could give, and pleased you would be.

You would have what you want - but you would not know me!

You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint;

You'd not know the power that I give to the faint;

You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;

You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;

You'd not know the joy of resting in me

When darkness and silence were all you could see.

You'd never experience that fullness of love

As the peace of my Spirit descends like a dove;

You'd know that I give and I save (for a start),

But you'd not know the depth of the beat of my heart.

The glow of my comfort late into the night,

The faith that I give when you walk without sight,

The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked

Of an infinite God, who makes what you have LAST.

You'd never know, should pain quickly flee,

What it means that "My grace is sufficient for thee."

Yes, your dreams for your loved one overnight would come true,

But, oh, the loss, if I lost what I'm doing in you!

So, be silent my child, and in time you will see

That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.

And though often may My answers seem terribly late,

My most precious answer of all is still, "WAIT."

Wasn't that absolutely wonderful? I feel like whoever wrote this has been reading my mail! I pray that it blessed you as well. 

Well my dear family and friends, it's almost been 3 months which means only 8 remain until I see you again. I'll be waiting for that! Much love. Many thanks. And a multitude of prayers coming your way. 

The Girl In The Waiting Room,

Lindsey Noelle

Colour Your World

This week is Colour conference in which 10,000 women gather in the heart of Sydney and experience an incredible weekend of worship, world-renowned teaching (Craig Groeshel, Jeanne Mayo, Lisa Bevere, Bobbie Houston,Chris Cain) and wonderful girl time. "Everyday girls living for Jesus!"

I'm serving this week in the Communications department- Colour Memories. Translation... I sell merch! I love the team I'm on. Especially Paula, a pastoral student that has been incredibly kind to me. The only bummer about selling all of the beautiful things is that I want to buy it all! Cute totes, tea cups, stickers, baby clothes,etc. Ahh man. The little 'boy grow' (onesie) says "Someday I'm going to marry a world changer like my mum" Isn't that SO cute? I want it. For the future that is. haha And yes, you read that correctly... they say mum here! Adorable :)

Speaking of... I wish so badly that my mom and sisters were here. My dream is that we can all come together someday. Like maybe next year when Beth Moore is one of the speakers! Mom did you catch that?! I went crazy when I heard that!

Oh and also, tonight in worship I was literally in the very back row, and during worship I couldn't identify who one of the vocalists was. So after the set was over, Bobbie goes over to this girl and says, "oh darling Kari Jobe, thanks for joining us!" Hello?! Wow. She's my favorite. I'm taken back and so thankful for all of the amazing opportunities I get to take part in.

I'm incredibly blessed and so thankful. God is providing in so many amazing ways! Thank you friends and family for all of your prayer and support. I wish I knew how to express my thanks.

I long to write more, but I'm exhausted. (At church at 6:30am to take the bus, home at 11 or 12am)
Don't worry, there will be more to come!

Hugs and kisses.
- Linds

50 First Days

Well folks, it's been 50 days since I last saw your beautiful faces. Fifty days... can you believe it?

Where has the time gone? Well, broken down you can look at it this way- It's either 1,200 hours, 72,00 minutes, or 4,320,000 seconds…I like to looks at the hours, because the seconds seem too vast. 

The first 50 days have been trying in every way possible. I've grown somewhat accustomed to the culture. The "no worries" motto that is so quick off the tongue of Aussies has been quite bothersome at times. I like to know details. I like to know the plan… “I can go with the flow if I know which flow to go…” But everyone is super friendly and unassuming, so that's refreshing!

I’ve made wonderful friends. I’m a part of a wonderful tutorial and connect group. It’s almost like a family! (They even call me "momma.") I look around the room and see world changers. That’s an amazing feeling.

I’ve grown up in so many ways… If it needs to be done, I have to do it. No beating around the bush, no waiting for someone else to try it out... just me. It’s helped me become increasingly decisive. Example: Yesterday I walked almost 6 miles job searching. It was my third time going. All together I’ve gone to 23 places. Almost everywhere closes at 5pm which does not allow much availability during the week. I’m believing that Jesus knows exactly what I need. Please pray.

The two things that come to mind as some of the most difficult things I’ve had to face are the lack of physical contact and mom’s cooking! Mother, if you’re reading this, I want to thank you for all of the amazing meals you put on the table after you had a long day. You’re amazing. I look forward to coming home and cooking with you. I’ll peel the potatoes!

As for the physical contact part, don’t be freaked out… I’ll be fine. I guess when you come from an environment where you feel so safe and loved to one where you come home and no one’s there to greet you or ask about your day, it changes things.  It’s hard not hugging, cuddling, or simply sitting with family and friends. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not all alone all the time, and I do hug people, but it’s not the same…

I miss the way the kiddos at church would attack me with hugs and kisses. I miss the way I could sit there and pet Sadie. I love that I could sit on the couch snuggled up with a book and hot chocolate. Gone are the days of my walls being covered with art. Gone are the days of playing piano at any hour I desired. Gone are the days of being at my favorite park in 10 minutes. Gone are the days of the Dollar Store. Gone are the days of feeling the fresh Oregon air against my face. Gone, gone, gone, but not forever.

Already God is molding me and shaping me in ways that could only happen with me being 13,617. 35 miles from home.  So for that, I’m incredibly grateful.

I wish I could somehow capture and share the sunset I see each morning. I wish all of you could travel here to experience the church, the school, well, I guess EVERYTHING! I fear that I’ll come home with too many memories and not enough words to describe them. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it…

So anyways, please know that I long for the day when I can be with you face to face, but I am so excited and feel incredibly blessed that I have the opportunity to be here. Thank you for all of your prayer and support. It sure makes it easier knowing that people haven’t forgotten me.

Love from Down Under. 

-Lindsey Luu, Butterfly, Lindzer-Binzer, Pipes, or whatever you prefer to call me. :) 

Just Keep Flying

You know the saying "Life goes on as normal?" Well, I challenge that... Life goes on as AWESOME! 

Although I feel like I'm running a million miles an hour, at least there's movement, ay?! On my way to meet up with Joslyn for a jog, I was just thinking and praying about not knowing my plans for the future,  and I kept seeing a tiny shadow around me. I looked up and there was a butterfly. Most of you know that that is one of my nicknames. I heard God say, "just keep flying..." It was a very good little reminder. I don't have to have it all figured out... Part of 1 Corinthians 7:17 in the Message says... And don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there...

Isn't that phenomenal?! I really like that. 

Anyways, it's throwing me off a little bit that it's snowing in Salem and mid-70's here. That's so weird! I'm thinking of Jon and Dan and how much they must enjoy having school delayed. I miss my bros so much. By the time I get back they are going to be like 3 feet taller than me. 

I don't know what else to tell ya America... 

Be blessed. Hug the people you love, cuz like I've realized, you don't always get to when you need it most. Call your friend and giggle. Go on a drive and hold hands. Play games with your family. Enjoy the food you may be tired of. (Especially cereal... it's like $7 a box here.) Find time to be spontaneous: Write a letter to an old friend. Buy someone flowers. Go on a road trip. I don't know... LIVE your life. 

Random...

Life is in full swing! I meant to write for Valentine's day, but neglected to do so. Oopsies. Hope you had a good one!

I received my schedule and am so expectant and excited for the classes, fieldwork, and church life I have the opportunity to take part in! I'm finding more and more that I LOVE learning! In so many classes I sit at the end of my seat so pumped to try and capture all I can from that class. It's all about expectancy and vision.

Here's a run down of the courses...
*Worship Band
*Music Excellence
*Old Testament Introduction
*Personal Leadership
*Church and Ministry
*Communication in Ministry
So pumped!

I've dropped my resume at 15 places, so please pray for the perfect employment opportunity.
It's a little difficult trying to figure out when I'll be able to work...
We have classes all week, serve midweek and twice on the weekends. But God is faithful, and He knows exactly what I need!

I just got home from connect group (like a small group) and had a wonderful time. I'm so excited to live life together with these people! We have so much fun sharing stories, talking about Jesus, and just hanging out. I feel challenged, encouraged and uplifted. I looked around the room and saw world-changers. People of influence, people called to amazing things. I'm so thankful to be a part of it. What an incredible blessing. It's like my Australia family!

Let's see, what else is new?

My flatmate and I get along tremendously well. We are constantly giggling. This morning we woke up to someone weed-wacking right outside our window. Who does that at 7am?! Anyways...

The sound of the new Aftermath album is filling our room. AHHH, SO GOOD. Seriously, get the album. It's life-changing! Sometimes I still can't believe I'm here.

Well, I'm going to go catch some zzzzz's.
Tomorrow's going to be a wonderful day!

Blessed Beyond Measure

Wow, another amazing day has come and gone...
I was able to play piano for the first time in about a month last night. In a crowded room it felt like it was just me and the ebony and ivory keys. It was glorious.

This morning I went to a Super Bowl party at the church. There were about a hundred people there. Some people were realllly into it, and others sat on the outskirts simply there for the fellowship. Guess where I was? Yep, you guessed it... the back row. Don't worry, I was sporting my green and yellow for Green Bay. (just because they are Jon's favorite team. Love ya brother) The only bummer was the lack of American commercials. So disappointed!

When I got home I relaxed for a little while and then started cleaning. (Our house has it's first inspection on Wednesday.) As I was wiping the top of the kitchen cupboards I glanced to my right and there were two cockroach traps. Of course I panicked... SO gross. I'm not exaggerating when I say there were probably around a hundred or more dead cockroaches. I refused to touch them. No way. No how. I draw the line! Needless to say, I chose a new area to clean.

As we were cleaning out the garage we came across three bags of clothes left by previous students. Blake and I took them to our room and went through them. Oh my goodness... perfect fit; on almost everything. And they are all really nice. A pair of Marc Jacobs pants, Express jeans, Gap shirts, etc. Blake estimates that it's probably $900 worth of clothes. JESUS LOVES ME. I'm so thankful. And whoever they belonged to previously, you have no idea how much you just blessed me. I wish I could hug you. (Wearing your sweater of course!) haha
I miss home so much it hurts sometimes. But the Aussie "no worries" attitude is making it's way into my heart... and my vocabulary. At random times I think, "what did I just say?!" It's quite silly.

Anyways, be blessed and remember that you are loved, chosen, important, and unique. Take a look at your fingerprint... Let it be a reminder of how cool God is, and how amazing He made you.
*Hugs and kisses from Sydney*

Priceless Memories, Precious Moments

Only in college will you get hand-be-down sheets that have an 80’s surfer pattern on them.

Pretty sweet, aye?! (Don't worry... I washed them!)

I spent the afternoon cleaning, organizing and giggling with my roommate. We listened to a lot of N*sync and TSwift. I tried to dance, and she just laughed at me. She’s in the dance stream, so I’m going to convince her to teach me. Haha

Then I collaged one of my notebooks for school! It was fun to be crafty again. I miss all of my supplies at home. But nothing like good ol’ magazine cut outs and tape!

I also got to talk to my daddy! Just hearing his voice makes everything better.

It’s 40 degrees celcious (104 farenheit) with about 100% humidity. It’s quite ridiculous! The sun is much different here. It’s brutal. I’ve been religious about putting on sunscreen (thanks mom, you taught me well!) You can’t go anywhere without sweating bullets. It’s disgusting. But I've lost 10 lbs. So let’s weigh the benefits. (Pun intended...) 

After finishing our room I walked downstairs and thought to myself... "this is becoming home." The thought scared me. But I guess it's good. I guess it's healthy. There's home-home, and then there is thiisss home. And if I don't let it become home, I will never fully allow myself to experience everything I should while I'm here. 

In the past few days I've had wonderful "God conversations" with people. Ya know what I mean? We're sharing life together. Most of the people I talk to are in the same boat I am... We have no idea what our futures hold, so we trust Jesus to direct us. It's awesome. 

There are around 60 different countries represented at Hillsong International Leadership College. I'm learning about so many different cultures. I feel like I was so ignorant before. I didn't know anything about other cultures. It's so wonderful to come to a place and have my eyes opened to the differences of the world. It truly is a small world after all...

Example: My friend Caroline goes to Seattle Pacific University. She's decided to go to India this summer to teach. I was talking to my friend Antonio here at Hillsong, and where Caroline's going is Antonio's hometown. Umm, isn't that crazy?!

Well, that was a bunch of random-ness, but I just wanted to keep you informed about what's going on. 

Love and miss you. 

-Butterfly

First Day of School

First day of school, first day of school! Picture me saying that just like Nemo... Because I totally did this morning. :)


Not going to lie, yesterday was difficult. My friends were going to see Tangled and although I had already seen it twice before, I was convinced to tag along. When we got to the theater they refused to give us the student discount so it cost 15 bucks. Lame, right?! It's a delightful movie, but all I could think about was home. I had seen it in America with my mom and my sisters on my birthday, and then I saw it with the Fehlen family as well. When I got home, I cried for probably an hour. 


It would be the first day of school where my parents weren't there to circle around to pray for me. It would be the first day of school where I didn't line up with Jon and Dan to take a pic. A very melancholy feeling, ay? 
You betcha. 


But when I woke up, I felt excited. It's finally here. My friends and I found seats, pulled out our notepads, pens (of all different colors of course!) and Bibles and took probably 7 pages of notes. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I felt very educationally and spiritually motivated. At one point I was overwhelmed by the amount of information seeping into my brain, but it's stuff I've always wanted to know! My classes are pretty much like church. EVERY DAY. That's legit. 


So here's a smile and a tear from Australia. Keep pressing on loved ones. 

I Look to Jesus

 How do I begin to describe three monumental days in just one blog post? I have no idea, so I'll just start writing... 

Thursday we took off for the Powerhouse retreat. We drove about an hour or so and then went swimming with the family we were staying with. They were all (12 of them!) so kind, generous and hospitable. When we got ready for the first session, we got decked out in yellow. (Congrats tribe fire, we did it, we won!) My introverted self was wondering, "oh my goodness, what am I doing?!" But when we got there, I walked into a room full of a thousand 18-25 year olds dancing. Crazy! Who knew Christians could have so much fun?!!

During free time one afternoon we went to the beach. It was glorious! Not too hot, not too cold, it was just right! As my friends and I walked up the coast we admired the washed up bluebottle jellyfish (there were many in the water, and a few people got stung) climbed on the rocks, took pictures, and then guess what happened... it started raining. It was wonderful! It's the first real rain I've felt since being in Australia. 

Each session was full of amazing worship, wonderful teaching, and great time with the Lord.

I feel like He has revealed such cool things that I'm still pondering and praying about. 

I sat in a room full of potential, full of people making wonderful choices that will determine their future. We have our whole lives ahead of us. We’re growing up… and it’s fun.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from the speakers:

*He's not just interested in what you can do; He cares about who you are becoming.

*It's not the stuff we find ourselves in that determines the outcome... it's how we respond. 

*Vision creates discipline. When you see something you want to do, you'll do whatever you can to do it.

*God operates in the impossible... that way He gets all the glory!

*It's not the game that changes, it's the game plan. 

*God doesn't wait to use you 'someday.' He wants to use you NOW. 

*The process is part of the plan

*God is able to do a whole lot more at the right time than we are able to do at the wrong time.

*The benefits of change far outweigh the bad of staying the same.

*When was the last time you had no other agenda than to just be with Jesus?

*You don't just need improvement, you need transformation!

*Is the cry of my heart louder than the fear and insecurity?

*At the end of your life do you want to be the person that was seen to have ‘so much potential' but never use it? Or do you want to know that you used it all up!

*Allow yourself to dream big dreams. Allow God to change those dreams... In fact, allow Him to change everything. He will!

I just got off the phone with my mom. Tomorrow will be the three-week mark and it’s hitting us. My heart breaks to know that I’m missing out on precious things such as my sister preaching in front of 300, my brothers tournaments, and my youth group at Generation Unleashed.

The other day God reminded me that He wants to fill every part of my life. Where I would look to my dad for protection and provision, I look to Jesus. Where I would look to my mom for comfort and encouragement, I look to Jesus. Where I would call my friend before anyone else, I look to Jesus. When I need a hug or a hand to hold, I look to Jesus. When I would normally confide in a friend, I look to Jesus.

When my eyes are on Jesus, I’m not focused on the things around me. I’m not wavered by circumstances. I’m learning to believe and declare over my life who God says I am. I am known. (Ps. 139:3) I am provided for. (Matthew 6:31-33) I have a wonderful future. (Jeremiah 29:11) I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Ps. 139:14) I am free. I am safe. I am loved. I am strong. I am called. And I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me! (Philippians 4:13)

Miracle's Happen

Yesterday morning I woke up around 5am and could not fall back asleep. I tossed and turned trying to decide whether or not I was going to go to the Powerhouse Retreat this weekend.
I was worried about the money, but in my heart I heard, "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Phiippians 4:19
I was worried about being tired when I got back.  Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
God is the best at comebacks :) 


Can you see what I was saying? "I was worried." Worry, worry, worry. Where's the faith in that? There's not! So I finally said, "ok God, I'll go. I just need you to help me figure everything out." 
When I got to orientation I told my friends that I was going, and they said that God had told them to go to! So we registered and were told to find accommodation and transportation to the venue on Thursday. At the a party, we talked to these girls who are going to let us stay in their house! They are halfway between the venue and the beach, and they have a pool. Oh, ANNND, they are going to pick us up. Can you believe that?! God is so cool. 
But it doesn't end there... Joslyn, Blake, and I decided we were going to make a really yummy dessert for an Australia Day party, so we were walking through the grocery store and after we had found all of our stuff, we were waiting in line. An older gentleman in front of us told us to put our stuff on the register. We thought he was going to just let us set our stuff down, but no! He paid for alll of our stuff. (It was probably around $70) He goes to Hillsong and knew we were new students. It may not seem like a big deal, but it was incredible!!! Thank you Jesus. And thank you Tony. We hope we see you at church sometime. 


So the moral of the story... TRUST Jesus. He works ALL things together for good for those who love him and are called according to His purposes. ROMANS 8:28

Write Your Plans In Pencil

Yesterday as I peered from the ferry towards the city scape, there was a sense of longing for those who I wish I could be sharing the moment with. I was surrounded by sound, but found comfort in my thoughts. The sun was warm on my skin, the breeze swept through my hair. In a city so vast, I felt so small. 

Even today in church I looked around at the thousands, and stood in amazement of how big God is. If I was standing there with the ability to think and feel, everyone could do the same. That blows my mind.

There is so much beauty, there is so much wonder in the world around us. Think about the stars... perfectly aligned, shining bright and beautiful. The human body itself is indescribable. The unique ways God has created each of us. What about the intricate design of a butterfly, the innocence of a child? It's so beautiful. 

I am loved by a beautiful God. He is the only one who could have imagined such wonderful things. 

We think our capacity to love is impeccable, but it cannot even compare to the love that the Father has for us, and for everything He's created. Isn't that crazy? I'm left speechless. 

Every Sunday I go to church, but something was different today... I feel a new passion to seek the heart of God. I thought I "knew" what God wanted me to do in life, what I wanted to do in life, but suddenly, it's like the plans I've written down are being written over by the Creator of the world. And I don't know what that means. I still have dreams, big dreams... but they are different than before. 

I live in  a broken world, so hurt and hungry for truth. As I heart stories of abuse, divorce, racism, etc. I'm broken hearted. When I think about my life, I stand amazed by how much God has protected me. And instead of being upset about that, a resolve has risen up in me to make a change.

I've never really seen myself as an "intense" person, but I think I was just lying to myself, trying to keep this fire locked up. I'm ready for it to be released! 

I just can't believe I haven't seen it for so long. I can't believe I had to be removed from everything I once knew before I could really have this breakthrough. It's incredible. Thank you Jesus. 

It's Been A Week.

Yesterday was the one week mark. Crazy, huh? 

It's gone by so fast and so slow at the same time. Each day gets a little less difficult.

So here's the random thought for today...

I don't think you fall in love... you grow in love. And that's a beautiful thing. 

I'm growing to love a place called New South Wales. I'm growing to love a church named Hillsong. I'm growing to love my friends from all over the world. That doesn't mean I've forgotten home, it's just a different season of my life. Jesus is helping me love this place. And it truly is because of Him that I'm not huddled in my room crying. He's blessed me with incredible friends already. It's almost like we've become family, cuz in a way we have to. And that's wonderful. 

Last night after youth group we invited some people over. We thought it would be like 10 people, but it ended up being like 30-40! It was a blast. Everyone brought snacks and we talked and played games. I felt like a little hostess. :)

When you talk to people here, everyone has a cool story of how Jesus got them here. And everyone is walking in faith. It's so fun. 

It's weird because I'll be doing completely fine and then something switches inside of me and I miss home. I think it's because when I talk to people, I have to say goodbye again and again. It's like the bandaid effect. You either choose to rip it off quickly or you pull and pull and it's more painful. I think I'm a mix between the two. 

Well, I'm going to deep clean my room... 

Cherrio from down undah.

First Sunday in Sydney

I walked into church this morning and was in awe of the enormity of it all. I sat with my friends on the center floor, 5^th row from the back. Worship started and the lights and music resonated in far more than the spacious room. Being in the auditorium gave me a glimpse into these next few months. Once school starts I will be sleeping, eating and breathing ministry. And does that make my heart go pitter-patter? YES. In everyway! I’m in the place I’m called to be. And I’ll be doing what God has asked me to do… That’s very refreshing. It doesn’t mean I don’t miss home, it just means that I can finally allow myself to mentally, emotionally and physically BE in Australia.

Anyways… more about church…

They do things differently, which will take some getting used to, but it’s awesome to be in a crowd of thousands seeking God. After worship, someone was giving announcements and they said that Jesus Culture was in the house. So we looked over and Kim Walker was sitting there! Okay so I’d be lying if I said I weren’t a little “star-struck.” But seriously… How cool is that?!

Then a group from Africa called Watoto came to perform. It is an ensemble of former child soldiers that is now traveling the world sharing their experiences and giving light to a subject so often not shown in the news. They danced, shared mini monologues and when they sang it was as if heaven itself was on the stage. The sound of captives set free... There is no sweeter sound. The youngest was 9 and the oldest was 19. To hear their stories of being forced to kill their own family members, to their recollection of nightmares and violence opened my eyes to the reality that this kind of thing still happens in our world today. It breaks my heart.

In the introduction of the performance, the pastor said this…

“There are two words that should never go together... CHILD SOLDIER. But if they do, there should be the words NO MORE that follow it.”

We serve an awesome God. A God that showed these teens the power of His love. To hear them speak of forgiveness in the midst of all this pain was incredible. I can’t wait to post the videos. It was incredibly powerful.

After church some of the girls from a house far away came over and we sat in the kitchen and talked for hours. So far I’ve met people from Germany, Norway, England, South Africa, Switzerland, Canada, and many of the students are from the States. (My roommate Blake is from Georgia. A true Southern Belle!) Around 5:30 we left for church again. It was packed. We sat in the very back. And guess who was leading worship? Brooke Fraser. Oh my goodness. Soon I guess it won’t seem like a big deal, but it’s definitely shocking still. There was a preacher from Atlanta there named Creflo Dollar (don’t know about the spelling) and he spoke about trusting God. Exactly what I needed to hear.

Here are some of my notes… It was epic.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

*“Faith believes God can do it, and trust believes that even if He doesn’t you will not be moved.”

*Trust commands rest, and rest commands results.

*If you spend your time doing the do’s, you won’t have to worry about doing the don’ts.

*I may not know how He’s going to do it, but I trust He’s gonna do it. I may not know when he’s going to do it, but I can trust He’s gonna do it…

* Trust is an expression of commitment.

So I’m choosing to trust Jesus. 

The walk home was wonderful. It was around 8 o‘clock and the sun was just starting to set. The breeze made it’s way through the trees, and the immense spider webs kept us entertained the whole way back.

When we got home we sat down on our floor and discussed the message, talked about our fears and cried out for God to sustain us. I’m so blessed with such an incredible roommate. Already we’ve had such great conversations, prayer times, verse sharing, etc. I’m so thankful to have a friend... Someone who is walking through the exact emotions, unknowns, and changes I am.  And if you’re wondering… Our room is all cute too! And it stays relatively clean…  We’ve posted verses all over the walls, and have pictures on the shelves and stuff. It’s fun.

So here’s to you America… Be blessed. Trust Jesus. And know that a girl named Lindsey Noelle loves and misses you so much.